A Little Twisted Vintage Golden Book Humor

I am so fortunate in that my Dad sends James and Ella storybooks that he finds at the flea market. Boxes and boxes of books arrive from Maine for the kids, and we never know what we might find inside. Sometimes there is a real gem, like this sweet Golden Book, "My Baby Sister."


Awww, how sweet. Don't you love her little push cart, her Mary Janes, the bear. Adorable!

What? You didn't notice what the real title is?



That's right. Somebody decided a better name for the story would be "My Baby Sister Smells." I tried to change the contrast in the photo so you can really see it.

I was laughing out loud when I discovered it. I had just sat down, gotten all cozy with the kids to read the book. Little did I know that I was in for a twisted surprise.


Let's start right inside the first page, with this adorable little girl holding her dear teddy bear:


Oh boy.


Looks innocent enough, but then you have to put the book right up to your nose and start reading those little conversation bubbles that some child started adding to each page.


Here Baby Sister is saying "I killed the bear." Oh my. Someone has some anger issues.


Here big brother is feeding the kittens. But someone has written "How can they eat pewk." NICE.


Here's another page about sweet Big Brother putting on a puppet show for Baby Sister.


"I'm going to EAT you" it says.


Here's a classic early look at brother sister relationships!


Here was my first hint that the bubbles were written pre-1970. I mean, who says "fink" anymore?


Here's my favorite page, and the one that really brings this child's twisted humor to light.


"Let's kill the dog and bury it." and "I'll bury you alive." Does that one make you as uncomfortable as it does me? Well, in between bouts of snorting laughter, I mean.


Here Big Brother says "I'm going to tip the table over."


Awww . . . if this is any indication of how teddy bears were treated in this child's home, I feel bad for the poor things! "I'll pull it's leg off." and "Leave him alone!"

So who do we think was the owner of this book, back in 1958?


Oh, Becky. Dear, dear girl. I hope you aren't locked up in a women's penitentiary right now, serving time for some unimaginable crime. And little did you know that as a little girl you would have provided us with so much fun 52 YEARS LATER!

Hmm, UNLESS this was done by poor Becky's older brother, in an attempt to further terrorize her when tipping the tea table, teasing the kittens and pulling arms off teddy bears wasn't enough!

Okay, hope you enjoyed that little blast from the past. I'm off to look through the hundred or so other Golden Books I have for another gem!